Top 10 Funniest Lines From Mindy Kaling’s Never Have I Ever

The show, produced by Mindy Kaling, is hilarious in multiple ways…

The show follows the life of driven, 15-year-old Devi Vishwakumar, an Indian-American girl, as she navigates her way through the ups and downs of life as a sophomore at Sherman Oaks High School in Southern California.

From the very first episode, you’ll find yourself laughing out loud at the antics and the words that come out of this teenage girl’s mouth.

Here 10 of the funniest lines from the show that I’ve heard.

1. “I am taking my nurses to see the musical Waitress as a bonding exercise. Apparently, American workplaces need fun perks to keep the employees interested in earning a paycheck.” — Nalini Vishwakumar

When Devi’s mom, Nalini, takes her co-workers out, she she’s dumbfounded by how differently workplaces work in America versus India. This is a fun little poke at American workplace culture and it makes you laugh out loud the first time you hear it (and maybe even a second or third time). Great writing!

2. “So, how was your useless trash picking day? I love that I pay taxes to send you to school to do another thing I pay taxes for.” — Nalini Vishwakumar

When Devi has a trash-picking day at school, Nalini makes another comment that makes you both think and laugh. It’s a bit of a stab at the way things are done here in America, and another great opportunity to combine statement with humor, which the show did brilliantly.

3. “How is it legal to go 70 miles per hour around other cars?” — Ben Gross, driving on the highway

It’s adorable when Ben, Devi’s frenemy and academic rival, helps her by trying to get her to her mom and cousin before they spread his ashes on the beach. His inexperience shows when he blurts this out in the middle of high-speed traffic and it’s both cute and hilarious to watch the first time around.

4. “Was that a slap?” — Kamala (Devi’s cousin)

Okay, the line isn’t as funny as the action. When Devi’s grandmother, Pati, feels she’s being disrespectful to her mother, she attempts to slap Devi, but what she actually does is more of a light brush of her cheek because it’s clear she doesn’t want to inflict real pain. Immediately after witnessing it, Devi’s cousin, Kamala, utters these words. It’s hilarious!

5. “I refuse to pay for something invisible!” -Nalini

When Devi calls her mother too cheap to pay for the cloud, this is Nalini’s response. It’s hilarious how uninformed she is and how stubborn she is to pay for technology she doesn’t understand. It’s funny, but we can’t help feel bad for Devi in the moment.

6. “I’d like to be invited to a party with hard drugs. I’m not gonna do them. I’d just like the opportunity to say: no cocaine for me, thanks. I’m good.” — Devi

The opening scene where she prays to the Hindu gods for things she probably shouldn’t be asking for is a great way to start off the show and immediately pulls you into Crazy Devi’s life. It’s cute that she wants to be cool, but doesn’t want to use drugs. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and we just know from there that she’s going to be one interesting nerd to watch. It speaks to the overall tone of the rest of the show — a good girl pretending to be someone she’s not in hilarious and very embarrassing ways.

7. “Just because Devi is confined to a wheelchair does not make her any less human.” — The Principal

When Devi is confined to a wheelchair after witnessing her father’s death along with a large chunk of students and parents attending the recital where it happened, she loses the use of her legs for a while. And she has to use a wheelchair to get around. When the principal announces it to the classroom, these are the words she chooses. Devi immediately shoots her a ‘what the hell’ look the minute she says them.

8. “Genocide is not 100. And systemic racism is not litty.”

When Paxton Hall-Yoshida walks into the classroom, Devi whispers “damn” a little too loud as she’s checking out the hottie she’s had a crush on since elementary school. But what’s funnier is her teacher’s response.

He says, “Damn, is right, Devi. This is some heavy stuff. Genocide is not 100. And systemic racism is not litty. As we travel through all of humanity’s most horrific atrocities, I want you to feel shooketh.” ☠️🤣

9. “My grandmother died in this dress.” — Eleanor Wong

Devi tells her two best friends, Fabiola and Eleanor, to dress sexy so they can get boyfriends. Fabiola wears her Medium polo instead of her usual large and tries to use the janitor to validate her outfit choice (since he previously told her she reminded him of his nephew — which Fab thought was a compliment).

And Eleanor shows up in a 1920s flapper dress and proceeds to utter that line in sultry tone as if that would make it sound less disgusting.

10. “There are people in Siberia who would kill to be this hot.” — Nalini

When Nalini and Kamala are talking about selling Mohan’s bike (her late husband), Kamala suggests selling it so they can use the money to run the AC more.

Nalini’s response? “Turn on the AC? There are people in Siberia who’d kill to be this hot!” 🪦

BONUS: “Smacking is still an acceptable form of punishment in many minority cultures.”

This had me dying! When Nalini yells after Devi, “Yeah, you better go up to your room before I give you a slap,” she turns back to her neighbor, who’s giving her a strange look, as if he’s ten seconds away from calling CPS.

She quickly adds, “Smacking is still an acceptable form of punishment in many minority cultures” as a way to soothe his worries, but it’s not apparent if it actually does the trick.

I don’t know about you, but this show is already on my re-watch list. I’ve watched it probably about three times now. And I’ll be watching it a lot more, adding it to the list of shows I re-watch all the time.

What are some of your favorite lines from the show? Let me know in the comments.

And feel free to share this if you enjoyed reading it! 🤓

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